Father’s Day Gift Guide 2019: 5 GiftsYour Dad Wants 

by Angela Cavallari Walker

Father’s Day Gift Guide 2019: 5 GiftsYour Dad Wants 

Let your Pop pick out his own tie and get him something that he wants but doesn’t know he wants or hasn’t told you. From vinyl records to branding his own meats, this Father’s Day Gift Guide is full of ideas and requires zero time driving to the store. 

Father's Day Gift Guide 2019

Vinyl Record Set.  It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Think jelly of the month club except for vinyl records. Vinyl is back in a big way and chances are your pop already has a turntable to spin his album collection. $35/month 

Father's Day Gift Guide 2019

Soundcore Life 2 Noise Cancelling Headphones.  Dad can finally and literally tune out your mom while she rattles off a honey-to-do list. These noise-canceling headphones are inexpensive but high quality. $79.99

Father's Day Gift Guide 2019

Personalized Monogrammed Steak Brand Triple Initials from Williams Sonoma For the dad that has every grilling tool known to man we are pretty sure he doesn’t have his own ponderosa where he can brand his own meats. $51.96 

Father's Day Gift Guide 2019

Personalized American Oak Age Barrel  Speaking of personalized stuff your dad wants how about a mini barrel with his name or initials where he can store and serve the booze of his choice to his buddies.  $57.97

Father's Day Gift Guide 2019

Yeti Sidekick Dry   This little bag will keep dad’s keys, cell phone, wallet or tissues dry thanks to Yeti’s waterproof technology.  $49.99

If you decide to forgo anything on this list, give your dad a call. Wishing all the dads, grandpas and uncles out there a Happy Father’s Day!

Father’s Day Fun: A Collection of the Worst Dad Jokes Ever Told

ather’s Day Fun: A Collection of the Worst Dad Jokes Ever Tol

Dads are celebrated on Father’s Day for the support and love they contribute to their families. But this is not one of these blogs, instead, we are going to celebrate all the eye-rolling, cringe-worthy, groan-inducing bad jokes that every dad thinks is hilarious in spite of the lack of laughter or even the faintest smile cracked. 

Here is a list of the worst dad jokes ever told: 

What does a mountain climber name his son? Cliff. 

What’s brown and sticky? A stick. 

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob. 

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs standing in a doorway? Matt. 

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs hanging on the wall? Art. 

What are fake noodles called? Impasta. 

How many oranges grow on trees? All of them. 

See that graveyard over there? People are DYING to get in there. 

Why do blondes stare at orange juice? Because the carton said, concentrate. 

How can you tell if a blonde has been sitting at your computer? There is white-out on the screen. 

What brand of shoes to thieves prefer? Sneakers. 

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, why the long face?

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says, we’re sorry, we don’t serve food here. 

How do you get to outer space? You planet. 

I don’t go to seafood restaurants anymore because I keep pulling a mussel. 

How does an ocean say hi to the shore? It waves, of course! 

My batteries were dead, so I gave them all away free of charge! 

Why can’t bicycles stand on their own? Because they are too tired! Get it, get it?

What cheese can get you arrested for eating it? Nacho cheese. 

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he realizes he doesn’t have any money, he tells the bartender to, “put it on his bill.”

Have you seen that documentary about beavers? It’s dam good.

These horrible jokes are pretty bad in their own rights, but because they are so bad, it makes them good.

Which ones did we miss?

Father’s Day Fun: 25 of the Worst Jokes Ever Told by Dads

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It’s time to get revenge on your dad this Father’s Day with a collection of the worst dad jokes you have heard at least a thousand times. Get it, get it? Yeah, good one, Dad. 

  1. What do you call a fish with no ‘i’? A, fssh

2. How did she/he look? With her eyes, silly!

3, See that cemetery? People are just dying to get in there.

4. How many peaches grow on trees? All of them!

5. Hey Dad, did you get a haircut? No son, I got ALL of them cut.

6. I’m not a fan of sushi, it’s too fishy.

7. Know what they call fake pasta? An Impasta.

8. What do you call a guy with no arms or legs? Matt.

9. What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose.

10. What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on top of a mountain? Cliff

11. What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

13. A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender says, “hey, we’ve got a drink named after you.” Really, says the grasshopper, “you’ve got a drink named, Murray?” FYI, a grasshopper was a cocktail made popular in the 1980s and it’s gross.

14. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, “we don’t serve food here.”

15. How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together.

16. Did you hear about the guy with a belt and watch in one? It was a waste of time.

17. How does the ocean say hello to the shore? It waves.

18. Where do you buy broth? The stock market.

19. What’s the most selfish kind of seafood? Shellfish!

20. Without geometry, your life is just pointless.

21. How much do dead batteries cost? Nothing, they are free of charge.

22. What did the one hat say to the other? I’ll go ahead.

23. Why was the homeless man selling yeast? Because he needed to raise some dough.

24. Why do skeletons have to do trick-or-treating alone? Because they have no “body” to go with.

25. What did the daddy spider say to the baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.