How Much Sex Should You Have?

public-domain-pictures-1495445493h97No, this is not a rhetorical question and I’m not asking for a friend. While doing a web search on increasing my libido by eating kale and other foods I hate, I stumbled upon a study about sex.

A few years back some researchers got together from the Kinsey Institute and asked a few age groups (both sexes) how much they were getting. Naturally, the people they asked who were between the ages of 18 and 29 years of age were getting the most action—two times a week or 112 times per year.

Not to bum you out but that number plummets significantly for the less-horny age group of 30 to 39-year-olds—1.6 (not sure where the .6 comes from) or 86 times annually.  And you 40 to 49-year-olds are not gonna wanna hear this—you came in at a sad average of 69 times per year.

Turns out, getting older does impact your sex drive but other factors such as pain in-the- ass relatives, marriage, crappy arthritis and your typical family obligations. Nothing to look forward to but then again, the researchers might have asked people that gave up sex a long time ago.

However, if you are shacked up, in a committed relationship or married you SHOULD be having more sex because those that did were reportedly happier, according to the study. But more is not always better; more consistency is best. 

The biggest winner in this study? Well, besides the 18 to 29 age group that gets laid a couple times a week is actually older women. That’s right, as women begin to mature they reportedly had better sex because they basically don’t care what you think of their squeaky sounds between the sheets. With inhibitions removed they felt freer to get a little crazier in the sack. 

So how much sex should you be having? As much as you want because in the end, sex is good exercise and is good for your heart.

Scent of a Woman: Guys Smell Like What They Eat According to Study

Scent of a Woman: Guys Smell Like What They Eat According to Study

Put down that cheeseburger and turn off the Xbox. A new study found that what a guy eats may actually change his smell and make him more attractive to the opposite sex.

Turns out, a healthy diet is not just good for your sex drive but is a turn-on for women. The study, conducted by the Department of Psychology Macquarie University in Australia used something called, The skin spectrophotometry measure (CIELab b*) to test what you smelled like based on what you eat.

Basically, you are what you eat and whatever you are eating is seeping out of your pores whether you’re sweating it out in the office, gym or bedroom. Turns out, when guys eat a shit ton of fruits and veggies it leads to pleasant-smelling sweat when compared to guys that chow down on doughy and carb-loaded foods such as lots of bread and pasta.

The male study participants were asked to fork over information about their diets and some sweat—freshly wicked. The guys with the healthier diets had sweat that was described as more floral, seat and even….fruity smelling. Again, this is feedback from women. Guys that also ate meat, egg and other protein sources were part of the better-fragrant group as well. The more carbs you take in, the more guys will stink to women. The study did fail to elaborate on what women thought the carb-eater sweat actually smelled like but you could always ask—or not.

And before you decide to opt out of garlic, it’s your breath that gets it the worst, not your sweat. Wanna smell your best?

Here is a list of recommended foods to add to your daily diet to make your sweat smell sweet:

-Dark, green leafy veggies such as spinach or romaine lettuce (kale if you can stand it), beets and eggplants

-Fruits high in antioxidants such as blueberries, pomegranates, strawberries, oranges, cherries

-Lean proteins such as fish and chicken

And avoid asparagus if you want to keep your urine from smelling. Well, only if you’re not into that kind of thing.

The Newbies Guide to Joining a Fantasy Football League in 2017

The Newbies Guide to Joining a Fantasy Football League in 2017

I’m about to make my fantasy football league dream a reality next week and in spite of my girlfriend’s best efforts to block me from being on the playing field, and hanging with my bros, I plan on scoring.

This is not my first game, so I wanted to share some tips for newbies to fantasy football leagues. Here’s the best way to tackle your next Fantasy Football League this fall season.

Don’t be a dickhead:    Even in the real world of the elite and rich football team owners, many don’t get ahead by stepping on the backs of colleagues and fellow owners. Treat your circle of fantasy football league owners the same. This doesn’t mean that a little friendly competition is off the field, but be respectful and consider not screwing anyone over so that you are not suspended from the league—indefinitely.

Do your research, EARLY:   You will soon learn who in your league is half-assing it and treats it as a way to escape their home life rather than taking it seriously enough to be respectful. If you are treating this league like a passive hobby, then you need to reconsider joining a league. Just keep in mind that your delay could mean that you will most likely be auto drafted by default.

Stay strong:    It might be hard to feel like a loser in your first or second draft, or especially when one of your players blows out a knee and there is no chance of recovery, but no one likes a sore loser and remind yourself that in life and fantasy football leagues, you win some—you lose some. Plus, you can learn a lot about trade offers which will only add to your knowledge.

Don’t sit on trade offers:    Speaking of trade offers, try not to drag your feet making an educated decision once the occasion presents itself. Frankly, it’s really annoying when someone dicks around with getting back to you.

Pay promptly:    Put up or shut up. Try not be a pain-in-the ass by dragging out your payments. You’re in the big leagues now and you should act accordingly.

Need additional tips on your best bets for 2017? Check out Bleacher Reports Cheatsheet for 2017. 

11 Mistakes Every Guy Makes in the Bedroom

11 Mistakes Every Guy Makes in the Bedroom

Want to keep her happy between the sheets? We surveyed 100 drunk women during an extended happy hour and “went there.”  From sexual positions to mistakes to avoid in the bedroom, we’ve got the 411 on how to satisfy a woman.

  1. Don’t be a blow hard.     Avoid blowing so hard in her ear that you end up simulating hurricane-force winds. DO, keep it to a whisper.

2. Boobs are NOT chew toys.     Soft biting—YES…gnawing….NO! Follow her lead and nibble soft until you get more direction. 

3. No breaks.     You wouldn’t interrupt your workout our weight reps—the same applies to sex. Making love leaves no room for breaks. HOWEVER, like any other workout, consult your physician before pushing yourself too hard or beginning a new exercise program.

4. Scratchy face.     Facial hair is the latest manscaping trend and can be a big turn-on but make sure it’s properly groomed. Too much scratching in the nether regions can lead to chafing which will only hurt your partner and your sex life. Go clean shaven or opt for a beard cream or oil.  Here is a full summer guide to beards

5. Don’t squeeze the Charmin or ahem, breasts.    You don’t want to act like a teenager ogling his first set of boobs, so step up and take your time.

6. Don’t get tangled up.     Very few man can unhook a bra in just one flick of the wrist. Instead, encourage her to take it off slowly and go from there. Nothing brought on the biggest moments of laughter than shared stories of guys fumbling with bras, skirts, panties and lingerie.

7. Socks OFF.     It’s hard to remember when you’re in the moment to remove your socks, but make a mental note to slip those off first before removing your pants. Why? Because it looks ridiculous.

8. Heads UP.     Apparently, this was a big point of contention when surveyed. Guys, don’t push a girl’s head down. Nearly every women when asked absolutely HATED this move. It doesn’t work.

9. Slapping.     This applies to stomach slapping and slapping her bottom without notice.

10. Let foreplay play out.    It’s tempting to get down to business time, but if your foreplay game is going well, go with it. Rushing is a big turn-off.

11. Thanking her or uttering, I love you.    Fist off, unless she is a “working girl” practicing the world’s oldest profession avoid thanking her. If you did it right, it’s a mutual thank you. Second, nothing is creeper than a guy feeling like he has to say, I love you. If it’s genuine it’s creepy if it’s not, it’s insulting.

7 Foods to Kick Your Metabolism into Shape

7 Foods to Kick your Metabolism into Shape

Summer bod looking a little lumpier than usual? Do you wish you could have rock hard abs? If you want a six-pack you will want to step away from drinking that six-pack. In fact, 75% of your weight loss goals are going to depend on what you eat.

Here is a list of 7 foods that will kick your metabolism’s ass and give you the body of her dreams.

Meats and Lean Proteins

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Before you pump iron, you need iron in your system. Lean meats such as chicken and fish combat any deficiencies and allow you to burn more calories. Dietary experts recommend at least three servings of iron-rich foods.

Water

glass-of-water-with-ice-1463236065BpNNot really a food but you are likely dehydrated right now as you are reading this fitness fact. Not only does a lack of water make you feel like lifting a paperclip is an effort, but it can also slow down your metabolism. Give your body a boost and drink a tall glass of cold water. Cold water is best because it jolts your body into warming up—hence burning more calories.

Eggs

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Not just any eggs, but egg whites are especially beneficial in giving your body the amino acids it needs to bust out the extra pounds your body is hanging onto. Egg white omelet, anyone?

Coffee

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Skip the decaf and go for the real stuff. Several studies have pointed to an increased metabolism in caffeinated coffee drinkers up to 16 percent when compared to those that drank decaf. Perhaps, decaf coffee is really covfefe.

Chili peppers

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You may remember one of our prior blogs on boosting your libido. Turns out, chili peppers also boosting your metabolism. A dash of chopped chili peppers adds vitamin c and capsaicin to your diet.

Milk

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Got milk? All kidding aside, downing a glass of milk or a beverage rich in calcium breaks down the fats in your body.

Whole Grains

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A diet rich in whole grains makes your body work harder to break it down. If you are not a fan of oatmeal you can also eat brown rice or whole grain bread. Skip the starchy carbs.

***ALWAYS consult with your physician before starting a new diet or workout plan.***

Summer Beard Style Guide for Men 2017

Summer Beard Style Guide for Men 2017
A full beard

After my seventy-seventh bout with adult acne (can’t believe I still get this shit) I decided to try on some facial hair. This presented some interesting challenges. First off, I’m past the millennial demographic and could end up looking like a douchebag instead of a hipster. Second, it’s summer so it’s hot as hell outside and beard sweat is not something else I feel like fighting. And ‘C’, I can’t even grow a healthy pornstache never mind a beard.

Here is what I learned about growing the right facial hair.

Summer Beard Styles for GuysStep 1.      Depending on your how hairy you are, go ahead and hang up the razor. You’ll save some money on blades and you will have a good base for your next step.

Step 2.      Apparently, you need to know the shape of your face to determine what type of beard to grow. Thankfully, there are a ton of different styles of beards. Ones that look like Van Gogh, Freud, and modern-day magicians like David Blaine.

Step 3.     Consult your local barber or hair stylist to help you pick the right one to frame your face. I shit you not, there are at least 15 different types of beard styles for 2017 alone. Basically, they still look like Freud and Van Gogh but have been assigned different names. For instance, there is the Balbo recently made popular by Robert Downey Jr. that works best for men with a narrow chin. If you have a rounded face the Circle Beard is the best bet. It’s basically a combo of a goatee and a mustache. 

Step 4.     Consult your girlfriend, wife or your regular hookup. After all, you still want to get laid. In the end, and given my limited growth potential, I went for the Full Beard and the most popular beard style for men. It’s also the easiest to grow and with some minor grooming and oil has minimal irritation for you and your girl.

Netflix and Chill: 8 Movies to Get her in the Mood for Sex

Netflix and Chill: 8 Movies to Get her in the Mood for Sex

It’s a Netflix and chill kind of night and you’re doing searches for Scarface but you also want to get her in the mood for a little love. You know, a happy medium nestled between Casino and Titanic. Don’t worry, once you get a hold of this list you won’t want to let go. Well, only because it will get her in the mood not because you will enjoy any of them.

Pretty Woman:   This modern-day Cinderella story stars Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Technically, it’s not really modern day. In fact, it was released in 1990 when car phones with cords were still being used by the rich. Still, it’s fun for your girl to watch Julia Roberts play a hooker who wants it all and manages to hook up with a really rich guy. Spoiler alert: she gets the guy.

Thomas Crown Affair:   You will want to make sure that you watch the Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan version. For starters, Rene Russo has a scene with a very long and gratuitous shot of her rack and you can’t help but want to be Pierce Brosnan when you grow up. The two are caught in a cat and mouse game after Brosnan steals a priceless painting while Russo tries catching him in the act. There’s a pretty cool sex scene as well. Although, I wouldn’t recommend going at it on marble stairs. Just sayin’.

The Notebook:    This predictable storyline is about two lovers with a passion so strong that not even dementia and a nursing home could keep them apart. With flashbacks to a time when they were younger, you get a glimpse into their fiery relationship. Plus, there is a nice scene where Rachel McAdams is soaked from the rain. Although, Ryan Gosling’s ab game is a little intimidating.

Dirty Dancing:   Again, two lovers find themselves drawn together in spite of the guy being from the wrong side of the tracks (and he can really dance) and a good girl has gone bad from a rich family. While this unrealistic narrative continues to play out, it still will lead to good sex. This new classic stars Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray (pre-nose job).

Unfaithful:   Another Richard Gere film but this time, he’s a good guy that puts his family first. Apparently, his wife has become bored with the housewife routine. After a trip into the city, she collides with a sexy, young lover and the film continues with some steamy sex scenes. Diane Lane has a kickin’ bod and while there are cringe-worthy scenes of Lane lying her ass off about cheating, you can’t help but see how this plays out.

Pride and Prejudice:   The 2005 version of Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfayden is guaranteed to put her in the mood and put you to sleep. Drink a spiked coffee to stay awake until she gets her fill of Jane Austen’s classic tale of a stubborn girl that refuses to settle for an arranged marriage and a man with a big ass inheritance that shares her stubbornness.

Jerry Maguire:   Ah yes, this new classic starring Tom Cruise and Rene Zellweger finds a man at a crossroads in the life. On one hand, he’s banging Priscilla Presley and is making a shit ton of cash as a sports agent. Then, one fateful night he grows a conscience and Zellweger is ready to pounce after he basically turns into a loser. It takes awhile for Cruise to realize his value in spite of Zellweger’s attempts to bolster him up. Honestly, I have no idea why women enjoy this movie. Again, don’t try to understand, just go for it.

Titanic:   Remember that spiked coffee you will need to get through Pride and Prejudice? Well, you’re gonna wanna make it a double espresso and a Venti. This long film needs no introduction. You know the cheesy lines, you know the ship is going to sink and you know Rose will never let go of Jack. Stars Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio and the late Bill Paxton as a snarky modern-day treasure hunter.