by Angela Cavallari Walker
Not one but three recently-published studies found that men still want women to keep a clean house but the same is not expected of men.
After (admittedly) only skimming all three studies, I wanted to share my perspective as a guy that keeps a tidy house and why I still hold women to the same standard and can’t understand why women don’t do the same to men.
Let’s start by going way back to the mid-90s. At the time I was still in college and busting my ass waiting tables at night. One evening after finishing my shift I picked up a girl that had what I call, “catnip.” She wasn’t pretty but she had a sexy vibe about her, a great figure and was super uninhibiated—all turn-ons for guys.
One drink led to another and I took her back to my place. I hadn’t planned on getting laid that night so my apartment was not picked-up but not filthy either. I might have had some dishes in the sink and maybe a pair of dirty boxers on the floor but nothing had really accumulated.
However, the piece of shit car that I drove her home that night was so clean you could eat off the floor. I remember her asking for a drink and asking to slip off to use the bathroom. As I fumbled through my nightstand trying to locate a condom, she emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile. It was a night of some of the best sex I have ever had.
This, of course, led to another hook-up night. This time, she picked me up in her ride—a glorified sports car for the working class, the Geo Storm.
I opened the door only to be hit with the pungent odor of what smelled like cat piss. But if that wasn’t enough to shock me, the floor of the car could not be seen because it was covered in compressed piles of old convenience-store cups, fast-food chain wrappers, and petrified french fries. The cloth seats also had so many stains that it was impossible to figure out the actual color. Assuming those stains might contain urine, I asked for a napkin to sit on. She obliged and fished out a stack of napkins from her glove compartment which appeared to have deep scratches from a rabid animal.
The backseat was even worse. When I asked her how long she had had the car, she said it was less than a year old. I was already turned off before we even got to her apartment. My mind raced to wonder how nasty her place would be if her car looked like this. My suspicions and fears were confirmed. In a metal cage in the corner, her wildlife aggressively tried to escape its confines to either attack me or more likely, take another piss.
Turns out, she had a pet raccoon and the smell in her place matched the smell in her car. Like her car, every surface was covered in discarded take-out boxes which made sense since she ran out of clean dishes and cookware which sat in the sink with the memory of old meals still stuck to its insides.
This was not my proudest moment but while she readied herself in the bathroom, I bolted out of there, tracked down a payphone and called a buddy for a ride.
I’m sure my actions hurt her enough to share the story with her friends over coffee or a cocktail but I was seriously concerned that I was going to catch an STD (thankfully, we had used a condom earlier). This is an extreme case but from that day forward—a made it a point to never date a woman that keeps a filthy car and to make sure that I never let my place get that disgusting either. I mean, if that was enough to turn me off to amazing sex, then I wondered how women would feel about that dirty pair of boxers or the fact that I hadn’t given two craps about simply rinsing food from my dishes.
To this day, I am a bit of a neat freak and I do most of the cleaning. My girlfriend appreciates this immensely and it makes our relationship much better.
Women should be holding men to a higher standard of cleanliness than they do and men should not have to feel like dickheads for not hooking up with a girl that doesn’t have enough sense to run a dishwasher or keep her floors clean enough that you can see the original color.
Women (and this is just my opinion) typically have a harder time living with dirty boxers on the floor or whiskers clinging to toothpaste droppings in the sink, but you may have to start leaving it there for us guys to clean. Believe me, we will eventually cave because no one wants to look at that crap long term.
As for guys, it’s time we all held ourselves to the same standard of cleanliness that is expected of our girlfriends and wives because no one wants to live like it’s Joe’s Apartment.
In fact, another study published last year found that guys that bother to help out with household chores and grocery shopping had better sex and that’s a study we can all get behind.