The night started off so great. A good dinner, some wine, more libations, a little more libations and the next thing you know, she’s onto what you have had on your mind the whole night—you are both going to get some hot ass.
That is until you don’t and have zero understanding of what went wrong. Here are 7 clues that you might have missed for what might have ruined the mood.
—Smells. I think it goes without saying that ripping off a fart is bad form whether you are having sex, eating or just Netflix and chill. The practice of flatuence is best done when alone or when you have privacy. However, don’t forget about smelly breath, and pungent orders from sweat-soaked socks that even if removed you might want to give a good scrubbing.
—Ablutions. If you plan on doing some prep work such as a good swig of mouthwash, a little freshen’ up to the penis and butt crack (all good ideas) do so behind closed doors. No one wans to see you crouched over the counter spraying your balls. Slip into the bathroom or ask for some privacy if you need it.
—Tidy up. How nasty is your comforter? Does it have obvious stains from spooge or pizza crusts and crumbs all in the covers? Take the time to at least made the bed an inviting place to do have sex. After all, you want her focus on being on top not what’s on top of the comforter.
—Nasty feet. When was the last time to trimmed your toenails? Is there any sign of toe cheese? Believe it or not, women actually pay attention to what your feet look like even If you don’t. So, take the time to give your feet a quick look and do some quick maintainece if needed.
—Voyeur pets. Got a dog or cat that likes to watch? You may want to clear it with her first. And it’s hard to predict whether whiskers wants to get in on the action by licking your feet, hers or sticking a nose where it’s not expected or wanted. Send them out of the room with a treat or the promise of a walk….later after you’re done.
—No foreplay. You may be ready to go but take the time to turn her on through a little foreplay before getting busy. This also allows you to test how freaky she might get between the sheets.
—Burps. This might qualify under the smells department but not all burps are created equal and a large, guttural, window-shaking belch even sans smell is just too palpable.