I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to my fingernails with the exception of making sure they are absent of dirt or debris from dinner. I’ve avoided getting a manicure even at the insistence and invitation of female friends.
I have never been able to even picture myself sitting in a crowded space in a strip mall breathing in acetone and conversations about the drama at work or the checkout line. The other scenario is that my barber Jimmy would bring someone in to go to work on my hands. The later of the two is not likely. Jimmy bitches about trimming my ear hair so dealing with my nails– not gonna happen.
Typically, my grooming habits involve just gnawing down the nail before it bleeds out near a cuticle. Not out of some nervous habit but more out of necessity. Yeah, I know…it’s gross.
There were in such bad shape that a female co-worker remarked on how one of my nails was so crudely ripped off that it had signs of prior bleeding. She then went full on Forensics Files describing how detectives scrape out what’s underneath our nails as evidence.
I decided to do my own detective work and Googled the words, nail biting bacteria. Apparently, if you swallow your nails (I avoid doing that) you can end up with stomach problems. There is also a shitton of nasty bacteria that could cause you to lose your finger. Missing fingers are not a good look.
Also, trying it on your own is not a good idea until you actually go to a reputable salon and learn some basics. So, I bit the bullet instead of my nails and went on an off-day when the nail salon is pretty empty. FYI, Sunday, Mondays, and Tuesdays are the least crowded days and when they first open mid-morning is the best time of day.
Here are some tips for first-timers. The place stunk of acetone or nail polish remover. Seriously, if you have allergies, your day at the nail salon will be short. Secondly, a good manicure will cost you around thirty bucks plus tip. Tip costs vary but three-to-five bucks are considered fair and decent.
Speaking of tips, be sure and ask for some to keep your nails neat and trimmed between manicures. You also don’t need to get any polish on your nails, but a clear coat will help with chipping and breaking. It took some getting used to, but I actually enjoy and look forward to getting my nails done. It also gives me some confidence while dating or at least keeps me from shifting the topic from sex to whether there might be the E-coli under my cuticles.
They did discover some fungi under my toes, but I wasn’t ready to have them go to work on my feet just yet—baby steps.