Want to keep her happy between the sheets? We surveyed 100 drunk women during an extended happy hour and “went there.” From sexual positions to mistakes to avoid in the bedroom, we’ve got the 411 on how to satisfy a woman.
- Don’t be a blow hard. Avoid blowing so hard in her ear that you end up simulating hurricane-force winds. DO, keep it to a whisper.
2. Boobs are NOT chew toys. Soft biting—YES…gnawing….NO! Follow her lead and nibble soft until you get more direction.
3. No breaks. You wouldn’t interrupt your workout our weight reps—the same applies to sex. Making love leaves no room for breaks. HOWEVER, like any other workout, consult your physician before pushing yourself too hard or beginning a new exercise program.
4. Scratchy face. Facial hair is the latest manscaping trend and can be a big turn-on but make sure it’s properly groomed. Too much scratching in the nether regions can lead to chafing which will only hurt your partner and your sex life. Go clean shaven or opt for a beard cream or oil. Here is a full summer guide to beards.
5. Don’t squeeze the Charmin or ahem, breasts. You don’t want to act like a teenager ogling his first set of boobs, so step up and take your time.
6. Don’t get tangled up. Very few man can unhook a bra in just one flick of the wrist. Instead, encourage her to take it off slowly and go from there. Nothing brought on the biggest moments of laughter than shared stories of guys fumbling with bras, skirts, panties and lingerie.
7. Socks OFF. It’s hard to remember when you’re in the moment to remove your socks, but make a mental note to slip those off first before removing your pants. Why? Because it looks ridiculous.
8. Heads UP. Apparently, this was a big point of contention when surveyed. Guys, don’t push a girl’s head down. Nearly every women when asked absolutely HATED this move. It doesn’t work.
9. Slapping. This applies to stomach slapping and slapping her bottom without notice.
10. Let foreplay play out. It’s tempting to get down to business time, but if your foreplay game is going well, go with it. Rushing is a big turn-off.
11. Thanking her or uttering, I love you. Fist off, unless she is a “working girl” practicing the world’s oldest profession avoid thanking her. If you did it right, it’s a mutual thank you. Second, nothing is creeper than a guy feeling like he has to say, I love you. If it’s genuine it’s creepy if it’s not, it’s insulting.