man-1372508546k0a

In spite of modern advances to hookup, find a date or even true love through the use of apps such as tinder, match and eharmony bad pick-up lines are still used and still stink like a cheap aftershave.

I’ve scoured the internet and my own bleak single life to compile a list of some of the worst pick-up lines that are still used today and what women still think of them. For the record, you are trying to break the ice not shatter it.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

O.k, this isn’t the worst idea but it shouldn’t be a “go-to” line. Instead, hold off on asking initially. No woman wants to be bought before you even ask her name. If things are going well ask, “could I get you another drink?”

“I saw you looking at me…”

Either you are stating the obvious or maybe she just had no other choice than to look at the only lonely dude in the bar. Either way, drop that line and find a more natural way to engage in conversation.

“Did it hurt when you fell?”

Let me guess….the girl is supposed to act confused and inquire further about your question. Yes, it hurt like hell to fall into your lame-ass line. Again, too soon to determine if I am an angel. Let’s no be presumptuous.

“Girl, you’ve got some fine-ass legs. I’d like to take those legs out to a steak dinner.”

Thanks for appreciating my legs but I’m not going to spend an evening with you over a steak dinner if my brain are not invited as well. This crappy line needs to die a quick death.

“So where exactly do you live?”

WHOA! Slow your roll. I’m not about to offer up my address to someone I just met and I don’t care if you bought me a drink.

“Your place or mine?”

That would be neither. If you’re that horny, you might need to phone a professional that will put up with that line because they are working girls.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like. . .”

Just remember, I may not find my doppelgänger as attractive as you do so this might just lead to an unintended insult. For instance, I was once told that I looked like Teri Garr from Mr. Mom. This might have been sexy up until he told me that his mom kinda looked like her as well. Ewwww. Paging Dr. Fraud.

“9”

Thanks for not giving me a “10.” We can’t all be Bo Derek, but don’t start off on the wrong foot.

“Was your dad a robber? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

No, hell no. Just, no. 

“Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths.”

Yeah, but what if she’s got brown eyes or you get the color wrong. Don’t start behind, start ahead.

“Nice legs; what time do they open?”

Opening hours are only for guys that don’t use that douche pick-up line. But thanks for playing.

One thought on “The Worst Pick-Up Lines and What Women REALLY Think of Them

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s