Prep and Tips Before Bringing Your Date or Girlfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner

Prep and Tips on Bringing Your Date or Girlfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner

Moving in together or leaving a toothbrush and a change of clothes at your girlfriend’s place may have seemed like the biggest leap in your relationship but it pales in comparison to that first major holiday. 

Are you sweating already thinking of the innapropriate jokes that your Uncle Mark will tell while the mashed potatoes are passed? And let’s not forget that your mother might bring up marriage and grandchildren again. 

RELAX…..because we have compiled some survival tips to bringing a date or your girlfriend to the first Thanksgiving feast. 

Prep time.  Before you hop a flight, or jump in the car have some time scheduled over a meal before you arrive. It could be a casual lunch of brunch but just make sure it happens before you find your place at the table. This not only allows downtime before she mets your family but some bonding time as well. 

Introduce your family before she meets them.  Without going to the dark side or getting too negative let her know that Uncle Mark may tell jokes about boobs or that your mom is not ready to let go of her son or a time table for grandkids. No matter who will drop the first offensive sentence, let her know that you’ve got her back and remind yourself that she most likely has a family very similar to this. 

Bring a gift.   Encourage her to bring flowers or a nice bottle of wine. This is where your knowledge of your dysfunctional family pays off. You don’t want her to bring something too personal so some guidance on your mom’s favorite flower is a nice touch. Or at least know which flowers she’s allergic to and hates. If you don’t know, ask your dad. 

Avoid the temptation to prep your family.  Maybe it’s crossed your mind to call your mom and ask her to tone down the questions about marriage and grandkids. DON’T. This could backfire in your face for many reasons but mostly for the ones you don’t want to think of such as “I’ll show him.” 

Check your drinking.  DO enjoy a few, a FEW glasses of wine or beer but keep your drinking in check. You don’t want to slip up while slurring. If you feel the need to party, slip off afterwards in celebration or defeat. 

Lastly, try to include your girlfriend or date. For instance, find commonalities between your sister’s yoga classes and the fact that your girlfriend never misses an opportunity to fall into child’s pose. Or maybe where she grew up was close to where Aunt Gene lived for 10 years. 

Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving! 

8 Ways to Turn on a Woman With Minimal Effort 

8 Ways to Turn on a Woman With Minimal Effort 

You may not believe this but it doesn’t take much to turn on a woman. No really. So, stop trying to rack your brain to understand woman on how to get them in the mood. 

Here are 8 ways to turn on a woman with minimal effort:

Cook dinner.  Seriously, throw on an apron, chop up some veggies, sear some meats and turn up the heat in the kitchen and in the bedroom. Here are 25 dinners that you can’t mess up. 

Make coffee.  You don’t even have to bring it to her, but simply set it the night before and have it ready to slurp in the morning. 

Get along with and pretend you like her pet.  Even if you hate cats or happen to be allergic to them, pop some Claritin and snuggle up with “Whiskers” even if he/she wants to claw your eyes out. A little love for her pet means a lot of love in the bedroom. 

Don’t ask or expect recipricol oral pleasure.  Sometimes you have to take one for the team and this is especially true for oral sex which will lead to more sex. 

Clean up.   A little goes a long way when it comes to cleaning up. You don’t have to scrub every surface but pick up some socks, drop the toilet seat (give it a quick scrub if you can) and remove any dishes in the sink. A woman that comes home to a clean apartment will practically jump your bones before you have a chance to take off those dirty socks before you drop them on the floor again. Here’s another reason why you should be doing the dishes.

Unexpected affection.  A quick kiss on the neck while her back is to you or cradled hug or sliding her legs onto your lap while watching TV will lead to a Netflix and Chill night. Here are 8 movies that will get her in the mood for sex.

Give her a massage.   Take your time, slow down and don’t rush. We are talking a real massage that lasts at least 3 minutes. Avoid the temptation to hurry up, press a few shoulder muscles and expect to roll over and go at it. 

Grooming.   You may be tempted to slip into your sweats and take a comfortable position on the couch watching sports. Take a quick shower and invest in some decent-smelling body washes that will drive her crazy. Here are 4 of the best selling body wash scents for men that women like. 

Awful Fashion Trends that Women Wish Guys Would Stop Wearing

Awful Fashion Trends that Women Wish Guys Would Stop Wearing 

Sometime last week, I met my girlfriend for a drink after a hellish week at work. We opted to catch up at a local watering hole near the apartment that we share. I was sitting at a four-top table in the crowded bar—fighting off patrons that asked if I was using the empty chair across from me when I realized that the flat-assed women with her back to me was my girlfriend. 

This surprised me because she has a hot ass, and needs little make-up to playup her best features. Normally, she’s rocking jeans, a conservative blouse and some sort of heeled shoe. For some reason she chose to show up in the outfit she wore to work—baggy jeans that she later explained were called ‘boyfriend” jeans and short boots that made her feet look like she was still wearing the shoebox. 

I’m not a dumbass so I tiptoed around the question I really wanted to ask which was, “what the hell are you wearing?” Instead, I went with my go-to question when I want to avoid any drama—“is that a new outfit?” It’s innocent enough to sidestep the “do I look fat in this” trap and usually follows with an explanation about where, how much and why she chose the outfit. Seriously, that is the best tip I could give any guy out there. Yeah, you’re welcome. 

While she was going into a ridiculous amount of detail and my mind wandered between whether we were going to have sex later and what I should order, I dodged another drama bullet by asking her if there was anything I should stop wearing. As in, what fashion trends do women hate on guys. 

Her reply might not be scientific, it’s based on some serious feedback during her GNOs. Guys, you may not want to hear this but at least stop wearing the following fashion trends:

Cargo shorts.  I remember cargo anything a few years ago filling most of my closet. And on ocassion, I still reach for that one pair that is perfect for couch sitting and ball scratching. AND according to my girlfriend this is exactly where they should stay—at home for nut scratching. 

Deep v-neck shirts.  I keep a collection of undershirts some with a v-neck but apparently, anything with a deep-v that shows off your chest hair and pecs is a turnoff. Noted and makes sense. You don’t want competing cleavage with your date. 

Shitty flip flops.   I don’t get this one but no-brand crappy, on sale at the pharmacy, flip flops are for emergencies not for regular wear. If you have to wear flip flips opt for brand name, good quality flip flops. And it was also made clear to me that you should trim your toe nails before you dare show off your bare feet. Fair enough. 

Gun-show tank tops.   This look is only sexy at the gym and as seen as a general turn off. However, an exception is always made for The Rock. She then went on to explain that the sexiest way to show off your muscles is in a non-descript t-shirt that hugs your biceps. 

Last but not least, if you are going to wear a baseball cap wear it the way it was intended: with the bill hanging over your eyes not on the back of your head or flipped to the side. Well, unless you are playing baseball. 

What do you think of this list? Is it accurate and do you plan on burning your cargo shorts anytime soon?

Everything You Need to Know About Movember and Growing Your ‘Stache 

Everything You Need to Know About Movember and Growing Your ‘Stache 

Movember is coming and the movement designed to bring awareness to prostate and testicular cancer comes with these simple rules: 

Step 1.    Start by going to movember.com and signing up. There are three participation options. Obviously you grow a ‘stache, second you commit to at least 60 hours of exercise over the month of November, and third raise funds by hosting a mo-ment. 

Step 2.    No cheating by keeping your current facial hair. Instead, begin with a clean shave and begin your grooming routine. 

Step 3.    Find the right products. If you are not used to rocking facial hair you will want to track down some products to keep itching to a minimum and primping to a maximum. Invest in beard oil to smooth wirey hairs, and razors both disposable and electric AND scissors. Here is a great grooming kit for sale on Amazon.

Step 4.  Let it grow. This could be the hardest part. It’s not a comfortable to be in a state of scruff and full-on Grizzly Adams. Personally, I will end up spending the entire month growing the weakest of ‘staches while some of the guys I work with can grow a full beard in their sleep. Don’t panic, it’s too soon to even consider what shape you want just yet.

Step 5.  As for those 60 hours of exercise, add in some killer ab workouts or add in these exercises that help increase stamina in bed. Better yet, sex does count as cardio so be sure and add that to your 60 hours for the month. 

Step 6.  Decide on the kind of mustache you want to rock. It’s also important to keep your beard to a scruff. Remember, it’s all about the ‘stache this month. Here is a handy beard guide to help you shape your look.

Last but not least, check your nuts for signs or testicular cancer which is the best way to celebrate Movember. Here’s what you need to know about testicular cancer and how you  can check for it. 

Got Erectile Dysfunction? Could Be Bad Genes Says Study

Got Erectile Dysfunction? Could Be Bad Genes Says Study

If you needed another reason to blame your family you can add ED or erectile dysfunction to the list. Turns out, your genes could be one reason you have trouble keeping an erection, according to a recent survey released by Kaiser Permanente. 

The holidays are getting close so I don’t want to get anyone so pissed off that this comes up as the topic of conversation while dinner rolls are passed over the warmth of a turkey and the coldness of relatives. 

It’s merely to shed some insight on other factors to consider if you are having issues with ED or stamina or both. If you ruled out or shed some pounds, changed up your medications or diet (all under the guidance of your doctor or a medical professional) or eliminated some bad habits then your DNA might be the problem. 

Back to the survey. Kaiser dug a little deeper and actually got a shitton of Americans as in about 37,000 to consent to submitting their medical records for this study. I never questioned why or how they did but it might have something to do with the importance of satisfying your partner.

ED is a big f’in deal for guys. And as you might have guessed those participating that forked over their medical records had either been diagnosed with ED or treated for it. 

Remember how I mentioned shedding some pounds and erections? Well, that was the gene that the study highlighted. In particular, its the gene that has everything to do with getting hard—hard muscles, a hard erection and regulating your weight. 

It wasn’t a big surprise to medical professionals that genes do impact your erections. I mean, they impact whether you end up bald or fighting baldness and resorting to a combover.

However, what was EXCITING news was that scientists and your doctor may know why certains prescription medications such as Viagra have fallen short when it comes to treating ED in those with low testosterone. 

Of the 50% of guys that have ruled out other issues and still suffer from ED, the silver lining is that genetic-based treatments are on the horizon. 

Until that happens, here are some ways that you can help curb ED:

6 Tips to Help You Last Longer

Want to Have More Sex? Eat More Seafood 

Vitamins to Boost Your Sex Drive and Stamina

Avoid These Foods So You Can Boost Your Sexual Drive and Stamina 

 

15 Fun Facts About Sex You Have Always Wanted to Know But Were Afraid to Google

15 Fun Facts About Sex You Have Always Wanted to Know But Were Afraid to Google

Let’s talk about sex, shall we? Have you ever wondered how many calories you actually burn during sex? Do women actually enjoy giving oral sex? Is nipple play a thing?

Enough foreplay, let’s get down to 15 fun facts about sex. 

The average man experiences 11 boners a day and an additional 9 at night. No wonder guys are so horny. If you fear these erections, you suffer from an actual phobia called, ithyphallophobia. Who knew, right?

Apparently, higher education leads to oral education. Women who attended college are more likely to enjoy receiving oral sex and reciprocate as well. 

Married people having plenty of sex—with themselves! Depending on how you look at it, married people tend to masturbate more than their living single counterparts. 

Sex toys are nothing new under the sun. Cave drawings dating back some 30,000 years left us with some pretty steamy images of dildos and people using them. 

If you have never earned your “red wings” you are not alone as around 70% of men don’t have sex when their partner is menstruating. 

Speaking of periods, if a women is on a regular schedule for sex (once a week), she is more likely to have a predictable period cycle. 

People all over the world are still having sex—lots of it! On any given day, 100 million people are engaging in sex. 

If the word, clitoris” makes you squirm, it shouldn’t. It gets its name from the Greek word meaning, goddless like or divine. 

Nipplegasm is a thing. That’s right, there are women out there that get off simply by nipple tweaking. 

Forget Pornhub, Deep Throat is still considered tops in the X-rated movie genre. 

We should really learn to put down our phones more. It’s estimated that 1 in 5 people are still on their damn smartphones during intercourse. And forget hitting the showers, 36% of people turn to social media post coital. This is depressing. 

Guys experience an average time of 6 seconds per orgams while female orgasms last around 20 seconds on average. 

Want more sex dreams? Try changing your sleeping position to your stomach and keep your arms over your head. 

Having issues getting a woman to orgasm? Well, she might have cold feet. No really. Keep her tootsies toasty. 

The bedroom still remains the most popular place to have sex but you might be surprised to learn that the second place would be a vehicle. Privacy is overrated. 

DIY Halloween Costume Ideas for Guys That Won’t Make You Look Like a Douchebag 

DIY Halloween Costume Ideas for Guys That Won’t Make You Look Like a Douchebag 

Some guys can wear about anything and look cool and the rest of us might fail miserably and end up looking like a jack-off. This can be especially true if your girlfriend or partner is trying to pick out a couple’s costume—more on that later. 

Here are some costumes that are perfect for guys that still want to look cool this Halloween and are douchebag resistent. 

Burt Reynolds:  This costume is not only easy but pays homeage to The Bandit that we lost this year. To get this look you need a red button-down shirt, jeans, cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and that iconic black stache. If you have trouble growing sideburns or a full stache, you are better off buying a kit. Otherwise, you can get a jump start on Movember and get growing. You may have to fill it in with temp hairdye if you don’t have jet-black hair. Slap on a pair of mirrored aviators and—BOOM! 

The Dude:  This one is perhaps one of the most comfortable costumes you could wear and who doesn’t love The Big Lebowski and white russians? Stop trimming your beard and allow it to get scraggly, stop washing that white v-neck t-shirt and pick up a long, striped robe. Pair it with pajama pants and slippers and you are ready to go. Don’t forget the white russian and wear that robe open. You know, sloppy. 

James Bond:  Got a tuxedo or black suit hanging in your closet? Well, then you’ve got a James Bond costume already. Don’t forget the black bowtie, a martini glass and the phony 007 firearm-just be careful where you point that thing. 

Vampire:  This classic costume never goes out of style and most girls find vampires sexy ever since Interview with the Vampire got them hot. This one is fairly simple. Grab a cape from a costume store, rock with a pair of dress pants, a white button-down shirt and a little fake blood, white powder for your face and fangs. 

Bob Ross:  Channel the late artist and his happy little trees with this easy costume. You will need an afro wig (available online and at most costume stores), a blue, button-down denim shirt, a pair of jeans and a paint brush and a palette (available at Michael’s craft store or online). 

Resevoir Dogs:  This iconic Tarantino film is easy to pull off. You just need a pair of black slacks, a black jacket (worn open), a slim black tie, a white button-down shirt, and black Ray Ban glasses. This costume look is best accomplished by getting your crew together in the same outfit. 

However, if you do find yourself sucked into a couples’ costume, here are some Super Badass and Sexy Halloween Costumes for Couples. 

Farts Can Be a Turn on For Some Partners Suggests Survey

Farts Can Be a Turn on For Some Partners Suggests Survey

Ripping one, cutting the cheese, floating an air biscuit aka farting is a turn on for some sexual partners, according to a recent survey released by seniorliving.org. 

The survey, aptly named, Everybody Poops and Farts took a closer look at how our men and women really feel about farts, how we try hiding them and other oddities like people that get turned on by them.

Considering that both men and women fart at least 20 times a day, we’re all on this together.

Let’s jump into some of the survey’s results:

How guys try to mask a fart—

  • 75 percent try the ol’ go-to: holding it in
  • 58 percent slip off to another room 
  • 54 percent head out to the great outdoors 
  • 25 percent try to create a distraction by hiding it with noise such as making a fart sound with your mouth.

I can recall countless dates (usually following a dinner out at a Mexican restaurant) where one false move and a million farts would explode. Most people and I assumed my dates would be grossed-out or even replused by flatulence. And personally speaking, the feeling is mutual when my date farts. 

This makes sense since the survey points to an average of 6.5 months before a guy cracks one in front of his partner—on purpose. Women wait an estimated 1.3 years

Guys wait 6.5 months on average to fart in front of their girlfriend or partner.  Women tend to take longer, waiting on average 1.3 YEARS. 

Now, let’s get to those in the survey that apparently are real freaks and get turned on by a fart. It’s a mere 11 percent for guys and 3 percent of women that think it’s hot. Anything over 1 percent is nasty and the survey also cited that 28 percent of guys have ruined the mood after cracking one while in bed with their partner.

 

7 Strange and Fun Facts About Sperm

7 Strange and Fun Facts About Sperm

Sperm has earned many, many, many nicknames: spooge, man juice, baby batter…just to name a few. However, sperm gets more credit than it deserves when sperm is lumped in with semen. Here are seven strange and fun facts about sperm. 

  1. Turns out, it’s not exactly the same as sperm. Sperm makes up a very small amount of man juice—only a mere 5-10 percent. The rest is the semen and since semen is nutrient-charged it also helps propel sperm into the uterine stratosphere. Think of semen as sperm’s wingman. 

2.   Every guy at one point or another has measured the size of his penis. I’ve done it even in my late 20s..ok, recently. You may think your penis or rather testicles packs a big load, but the average full ejaculation is only a teaspoon…NOT a tablespoon. Feel free to grab a teaspoon to see how you measure up, just wash your hands and the teaspoon when you’re finished. 

3.   Now that you know that sperm can launch its way up into the uterine planet thanks to its wingman, semen, you may want to know how long it can party and stay alive up in there. Hold onto your butts—up to five days! That’s right! Of course, this is dependant on the acidity of your partner’s womb. If the acidity is not ripe for fermentation, than typically it can last between 24 and 48 hours. 

4.   Speaking of strong sperm, no matter how many swimmers you think you have, you will never compare to a bat’s sperm which can live up to…wait for it…145 days. WOW! 

5.   Now that you feel inadequate about your sperm’s lifespan, don’t fret. Men NEVER stop producing sperm. That’s right, guys. Now you know how Richard Gere just had a baby and Charlie Chaplin never stopped even into his 70s. It’s ok to take some pride in that. 

6.  Shitty diet = shitty sperm. You are what you eat when it comes to sperm. The worst diet you have, the worse your sperm can get. Stay hydrated ON WATER, and eat foods rich in antioxidants and other aphrodiasic stimulants such as oysters and dark chocolate. As for the water, the more you drink, the deeper pool they have to swim in. Here are 11 foods that you should be eating right now to boost your stamina. You’re welcome. 

7.   Balls deep just took on a new meaning. Sperm are stored in your scrotum because sperm prefer cooler temps which makes sense since men tend to produce more sperm during the colder, winter months than during the heat of the summer. 

8 Tailgaiting Tips Every Guy Should Know this Football Season

8 Tailgaiting Tips Every Guy Should Know this Football Season

Let the games begin! It’s officially football season and you can kick off the season with a bang with these ingenious tailgaiting tips every guy needs to know. From etiquette tips to bringing along the right foods for your gathering around the tailgait, we’ve got you covered. 

Packing Essentials.    If you have a truck or SUV, bring along your tool box and fill it with these essentials including: BBQ tools, wipes (a package of wipes goes a long way), a roll of paper towels, trash bags, Ziplocs, sunscreen, a standard first aid kit, and any seasonings and condiments that don’t need refridgeration. 

Prep Ahead.     Make your burger patties, chicken, or skewer your meats and veggies the night before and place them in a sealed container or Tupperware. If you plan on having toppings for your meats, slice those tomatoes, lettuce and onions early as well. 

Label your Coolers.      Meats or condiments not stored at the right temps could make everyone sick and the last thing you want is diarreah with only portalets around. Your cooler should be at 40 degrees Farenheit to prevent the meat from spoiling and don’t forget other condiments like mayo. Naturally, you will be icing down some beers as well. Label your coolers so that your meats are not exposed over and over again from fellow tailgaters looking for a cold beer or soda. 

Team Spirit.      We hope you are representing with team with a tent but you can dominate your tailgate with Tail Titan’s illuminated trail hitch. Tail Titan’s illuminated trailer hitches means you can tailgait even when you are not tailgaiting. Choose from officially-licensed NFL and NCAA teams.

Fire it Up:     If you plan on using coal to grill out bring along a metal receptacle where you can safely dispose of hot coals. NEVER leave a grill unattended and make sure to properly extinguish your grills. 

Plastic Tubs are your Friend.     Not only can you pack up non-refridgerated items in a large storage container but items such as disposable plates, cutlery and those Solo cups can be stored safely. You can also use a storage container to return any non-disposable plates with you. 

Jumper Cables.      Nobody wants to be stuck in the parking lot for good. Always a good idea to bring these along—you never know. 

Positioning your Grill.      Grilling out while tailgaiting is a right of passage so be sure to position your grill based on elements such as wind direction.