This coming Monday marks President’s Day and I thought it was a good idea to remind everyone that the holiday is not about furniture sales. Instead, I have dug up the most badass facts of our country’s past POTUS’.
John F. “Jack” Kennedy. The Kennedys have a long political dynasty and a long history of hooking up with the hottest women in the world. In fact, FBI tapes later revealed that he didn’t just hook up with Marilyn Monroe. He was known to have bedded Angie Dickinson, Marlene Dietrich, Jayne Mansfield, lots of strippers and pretty much tapped every ass working in The White House.
Lyndon Baines Johnson. LBJ was not nearly as good looking as JFK but he certainly had his share of hookups as well. He was reportedly smarter and more discreet about it and had an alert system set up in the Oval Office so he wouldn’t be literally caught with his pants down.
Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson was notorious for having affairs with his female slaves. He reportedly carried on a thirty-eight-year affair with Sally Hemings. Interestingly enough, Sally was not just his slave but was the half-sister of his deceased wife.
Martin Van Buren. Van Buren was the eighth President of the United States and served from 1837-1841. Like most Presidents he decided to document his legacy while in office by writing an autobiography. Some have speculated that he did not like his wife of 12 years after failing to mention her zero times in his autobiography.
John Tyler. If you thought JFK had stamina, he had nothing on our 10th POTUS. Tyler won the title for fathering the most kids. After having eight kids with his first wife, he went to have seven with his second wife and he was in his 70s by the time his last kid was born. Busy guy.
Ronald Reagan. When you think of the eighties it’s impossible not to remember President Ronald Reagan. Pre politics while he was still an actor, he won an award for the Most Nearly Perfect Male Figure. Not sure if that honor still exists today, but way to show those guns!
John Quincy Adams. Adams enjoyed the many pleasures and luxuries in The White House. His favorite was quite simple, he loved to skinny dip in the Potomac every morning around 5 to relieve the stress associated with the job.
Andrew Jackson. Jackson had quite the reputation while in office. In spite of his popularity he was the first President that an assassination attempt was made on and after the gun misfired, he chased the perp with a walking stick. He also participated in over 100 duels. One duel left a man dead and several others happened all in the name of defending his wife’s good name after she reportedly married him without divorcing from her first husband. He spent most of his life with two bullets still lodged in his body—one on his chest and one in his arm. That’s pretty badass.
Gerald Ford. Believe it or not, President Ford put himself through college working as a model and later as a Forest Ranger at Yellowstone. Basically, a real-life Ranger Rick.
Calvin Coolidge. Coolidge was a bit of a prankster. His favorite stunt was to set off all the buttons as his desk and then either hide or run like hell. After everyone lost their minds looking for him, he would jump out and declare that he wanted to make sure they were working.
Warren Harding. This 29th President of the United States liked to take risks which usually involved gambling. During one of the many heated games of poker, he bet The White House china and lost.
John Adams. Our second President was no stranger to playing dirty politics. When running against Jefferson his red meat and propaganda included rape, murder and incest if they voted for Jefferson instead of Adams. In the end, the became best bros and both died on the same day and just hours apart on July 4th.
One last fun fact about ALL OUR Presidents: not one of them was a single child.